IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER
In the book, “Friendship with God” Neale Donald Walsch, author of the “Conversations with God” series writes:
(Q) So, you are saying, everything is perfect, just the way it is. Even if things don’t look perfect.
(G) Especially if they don’t look perfect. That’s a sure sign that there’s something huge for you to remember here.
(Q) So, You’re saying we should be grateful for the worst things that happen to us?
(G) Gratitude is the fastest form of healing. What you resist, persists. What you are grateful for can then serve you, as it was meant to do.
I have told you: I have sent you nothing but angels
Now I will add: I have given you nothing but miracles.
(Q) What are miracles? Crimes are miracles? Diseases and illnesses are miracles?
(G) Every event of life is a miracle, as is life itself.
Life is designed to provide your soul with the perfect tools, the perfect circumstances, the perfect conditions with which to realize and experience, announce and declare, fulfill and become Who You Really Are.
Therefore, judge not, and neither condemn.
Love one another, pray for those who would oppose you, and embrace every moment and circumstance of life as a treasure; a perfect gift from a perfect Creator.
I say to you, seek results and outcomes, but do not require them.
For if you require a certain result in order to be happy, you have an Addiction.
If you simply desire a certain result you have a Preference…
And if you have no Preference whatsoever, you have Acceptance.
You have achieved Mastery.”
Now initially upon reading those words, I began to think about the idea of living with no expectations…and I quickly, realized that it is pretty difficult to get through a day without focusing on desired outcomes.
So I decided to try and consciously practice acceptance instead of my usual addiction mode, and something interesting started to happen…
I found that in releasing my attachment to the outcome, I had become more effective at the task on hand and more present in the now…my motivation had been become focused internally instead of externally and a sense of peace and well being had set in….
And then, it seemed, almost magically, I had this profound awareness that was overwhelmingly freeing….
That if everything in my life just disappeared in the next minute or the next day…
It just wouldn’t matter!
Sports legend, Fran Tarkinton, who was quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings football team for many years, and is considered one of the greatest to ever play the game, never won a Super Bowl. I remember watching an interview he gave just after announcing his retirement….and he was asked the obvious question…
“Do you regret ending your career without ever winning the “Big One.?”
His response was surprising. He recalled that the most valuable lesson he gained in his life, was a direct result of what many would call…this so called “failure”.
He said, he realized that at one point it had become all about the win, the trophy, the ring, the recognition…and, as a result, they had lost their focus and forgot to concentrate on playing the game.
He said, “I had forgotten the first rule of success…Winning means being unafraid to lose…that’s when I began to remember who I really was…and that it just didn’t matter…and I started to play for the joy of the game, once again…”
You have all heard the saying that you can’t get where you are going if you don’t know where you are headed – and goals are supposed to be the map that show you the way.
Well, this is a concept that I have always found hard to swallow.
Every time I hear this suggestion placed before me, my resistance rises to fever pitch, and I hear myself saying, “OH, I don’t think so!”…
And let me tell you why.
The few months following my self imposed Early Retirement from corporate America, I was facing, what I believed to be a major meltdown over what the next course of action should be in my life.
I was beginning to feel challenged financially, or at least that was my perception of the situation, and unsure as how to proceed to remedy this.
Even though, I knew, at my core, that there are no challenges in the mind of God…
it didn’t stop those shadows emerging from their most deepest, darkest internal residences.
I was clearly facing probably the most major change of my life, to date, as I embarked upon a new journey…
After deliberately leaving what had been my sole form of livelihood, in the corporate world for overs 30 years,to consciously live my life on purpose and in service.
I had adamantly declared as I left my old life behind…
“There will be no more “have to’s” in my life, anymore!”
Well, it only took a few months, and my mind when faced with its first bout of uncertainty,
went right back into the “have to” tapes.
I have to get some money, I have to figure this out, I have to get a part time job…
Why did I ever think I could do this, I have no clue what I am doing….blah, blah, blah…on and on ad nauseum.
So, as any good little metaphysician/quantum physicist would do…
I took the next step…Feeling the need to “get in control of this situation”,
I threw myself into high gear, in an all out effort to invoke the Spiritual forces that be, who hold reign over these aspects of our existence.
I wrote and spoke literally pages and pages of affirmations daily, mapping out to the Universe, exactly what I wanted to happen.
I called Prayer lines, did my mirror work, sat knee deep in magazine clippings for vision boards and placed them in strategic places throughout my home,
but the fears and doubts instead of subsiding, just grew ever more present and stronger than ever. And with every affirmation I spoke…another old fear was unmasked.
See, I had this picture of Spirit dangling a carrot at the end of a what seemed like a long rope, saying, “Yes, I agree, you should have all this…you just have to get up to speed and think and feel and be and do all the right things before you can have it.”
No wonder I was depressed…and rapidly approaching a major melt down phase.
At one point during this ordeal, I had taken a much needed respite to gain some clarity over this situation, and visited a friend who lives in a Spiritual Community, at Lily Dale, NY, on beautiful Cassadaga Lake.
At first, I became so totally immersed in the joy, peace, and beauty that surrounded me everyday, I almost forgot the mental turmoil of the previous weeks…
But, then, during a stimulating night of metaphysical exchanges with some of my friends there, it all came flooding back.
And our lively and lofty discussion turned into a weeping therapy session…
Now I am sitting in a room spilling my guts of all my fears and insecurities to a group of old and new friends assembled there,
When my host, stood up and walked over to this massive wall of books and without missing a beat he pulled out a small, 70 page volume and lovingly but firmly tossed it into my lap…
And that was it…end of discussion. Message received…Over and Out!…Thank You, Very Much!
Because, I immediately recognized this little metaphysical gem, as it has sat in my own library for over 30 years. The book, was the classic, “Prospering Power of Prayer” by Catherine Ponder.
As I began to re-read it, later that night…I had a moment…one of those AHA moments that shakes you to your very core.
As I read her beautiful affirmations, I realized the difference between her’s and mine was that in every single one of her affirmations, there was one word that was missing from mine.
I had been leaving out the most important ingredient…”Spirit”
One affirmation, in particular struck a major core, as I remembered that many year’s ago I had used it to start my time of meditation,
“With Praise and Thanksgiving I set the riches of Spirit before me this day to guide, govern, prosper and protect me. All things needful are now provided. My rich good becomes visible this day! And then, “The Spirit of the Lord goes before me making easy and successful my way!”
I realized, at that moment, that “I”… the little “i”… was trying to take care of all those details and that “i” was working too hard at making something happen.
That night Spirit spoke to me, not unlike I imagine, the experience of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Pray, Love” ,when her break through came as a result of her nightly lamentations on the bathroom floor.
Through he tears swollen, tear laden eyes, and chocking sobs, she somehow heard the words that were about to change her life,
“Give it all to me, I will keep the watch, I will take care of everything. No matter what appears to be happening, you are not in this alone!”
It was precisely that same instant of awareness, for me…it was my “bathroom floor” awakening.
In a blinding flash, it had all become so clear, so simple…
All that was required of me, was to relax, show up, and just love in every perfect Now moment. Hello? Oh My God…Spirit had my back! What a concept! Spirit was in charge!
And in that nano-second all my fears and doubts and pain just washed away,
And were replaced in the days and weeks to come with miracle, upon miracle, upon miracle.
You see, I have always found goals and the need to be in control, to be restrictive.
This is why this process just never works for me, especially when I am experiencing “desperate times”.
You see I believe, they set an end to what you can achieve.
They thwart freedom.
They, actually, keep you separate from your Source.
Goals, sometimes can be the brakes that stop you from accomplishing all that you were meant to accomplish because goals are in and of themselves…the end.
Now, I am not advocating being irresponsible, please do not hear that…
but what I am saying is that we should, also, and first and foremost,
Make enjoying every moment along the journey of your life the number 1 priority.
Find work that you like to do and that you find satisfying today, not just work that will reward you in the future.
Love your kids for what they are today, not just for what they may become years from today. Celebrate personal relationships today, not just at special occasions.
And I am most assuredly not saying, there is anything wrong with having a goal…
as long as you don t fall in love with it.
And as long as you understand that every step on the way to the achievement of the goal is just as important as every other step including the one where you reach it.
You must understand that every moment in life is a miracle…
We must stop looking for miracles in the future…
As my shero, Louise Hay, always says, “The Point of Power is Always in the Present Moment”.
Sarah Ban Breathnach, writes in her book, “Simple Abundance”, ” The passionate pursuit of dreams sets your soul soaring, expectations that measure the dreams success tie stones around your soul. I don’t think we should just lower our expectations,” she says, “I believe if we truly want to live a joyous and adventurous life, we must relinquish them. Living your life as a dreamer and not as an “expector” is a personal declaration of independence. You’re able to pursue happiness more directly when you don’t get caught up in the delivery details. Dreaming not expecting allows Spirit to step in and surprise you with connection, completion, consumation and celebration. You dream. You show up. Then let Spirit deliver your dream to the world.”
There is a movie that Bill Murray starred in very early on in his career, that has always been an all time favorite in our home. The film is titled “Meatballs.” Meatballs is a movie about a group of sloppy, unorganized, practical jokers who run a summer camp called Northstar..their arch rivals across the road at Camp Mohawk are the rich kids who bring their golf clubs and masseuses and servants to camp with them. At the end of the movie is an annual three day Olympiad between the two competing camps. The scene is set at a camp meeting, after the second day of losing consistently and predictably in just about everything to their nemeses at Camp Mohawk. The dejected campers from Northstar are sitting around feeling sorry for themselves, mumbling and grumbling and fighting amongst each other.
When one of them says, “Lets face it, the Mohawks have beaten us for the past twelve years in a row, and they are going to beat us again”
Upon hearing this Bill Murray, the camp’s quirky and obscene head counselor, stands up and launches into a speech that shocks everyone..
“That’s just the attitude we don’t need, he admonishes, “Sure Mohawk has beaten us 12 years in a row. Sure their terrific athletes…They got the best equipment money can buy, but it doesn’t matter, it just doesn’t matter…it just doesn’t matter…I tell you it just doesn’t matter…And even if we win, HA!…even if we play so far over our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days…and even if God in heaven above comes down and points his hand on our side of the field, even if every man, woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win…it just wouldn’t matter because all the really good looking girls will still go out with guys from Mohawk cause they got all the money…It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose…its just doesn’t matter…it just doesn’t matter.”
Is at this point that stunned, motley crew of Northstar, have a moment of collective epiphany, and join Murray in taking up the chant…”It Just Doesn’t Matter!”
And what happened?, well, in true Hollywood fashion, they pulled themselves together….gave it their all, relaxed and had fun….and in the final moments…they did manage to succeed in procuring the coveted win over Mohawk…
We can only grow as a human beings if we are concentrating on our own abilities.
You see, if you are looking over your shoulder at somebody else or you are basing how you are doing on the outcome that’s called competition.
And enlightened people don’t look at other people or outcomes to determine where and who they are.
Thoreau wrote, “When one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams…and endeavors to lead the life which he has imagined…He will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
It was this mantra that had led me to this pivotal point on the next lap of my journey…and there was turning back.
You see, I realized, that in order to become enlightened you must forget about you…
And all of the things you are going to do, and accomplish and get out of your life…
You simply advance confidently and do what is in you to do…
Making everyday a miracle…and success will chase after you and arrive in your life in amounts greater than you ever anticipated in any present moment.
For a very long time, for me, it seemed like I was always waiting for life to begin–real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.
And at last it dawned on me, that these “obstacles” were my life.
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness…
That in Truth, Happiness IS the way.
One of my favorite stories is a parable about two cats…One day an older cat was out on his daily rounds in the alleys, and came upon a much younger cat who was running around in circles trying to catch his tail…he would chase and chase and chase, and the older cat after watching this for some time finally stopped the other cat and asked him what he was doing. The younger cat, replied, “Well, you see, I have just graduated from cat philosophy school, and in cat philosophy school they taught us that happiness is in our tail, so I am trying to get catch my tail so I can have happiness. Upon hearing this the older cat pondered for awhile and finally said…”You know, I am just an old alley cat, and I have not had the opportunity to attend cat philosophy school, but throughout my long, life I have found, that yes, happiness, is indeed in my tail…But, my ambitious young friend…I have found, that if I go about my life, and do the things that are important to me…happiness will follow me wherever I go.”
My passion, as many of you know, is writing, and several years ago, through a series of serendipitous events, I found myself placed right in the middle of this path…which up to that point had been a dream, a fantasy if you will.
But then, I found one day, that it appeared, my dreams had finally caught up with my reality. Because of this, I have come to understand that desire which had taken up residence in my heart so many years ago, was actually, placed there by God, so it could not fail to materialize, in spite of myself or my own procrastination, self doubt and negativity.
You see, I came to understand, that the word desire broken down literally means “Of God” or sired by God.
So, in actuality, there really isn’t anything we need to do…
Because after awhile our thoughts, dreams and focus take on a life of their own…
And that all we need to do is put our foot on the path…take that leap of faith…and Spirit will provide the rest.
You may recall, In the movie,”Indiana Jones and the quest for the Holy Grail.” Indy’s father has been mortally wounded and needs the healing waters from the grail, which is on the other side of a huge precipice. Indiana Jones has to get to the other side to save his father, and is hesitating as to what his next move must be…his father says to him…”STEP OUT…STEP OUT IN FAITH, SON!”…Indy reluctantly puts his foot out over the edge of the cliff that he is standing on….at that instant ,out of seeming nowhere, miraculously appears out of the mist..
You see ALL that is required of us is to take that step out in faith…
Goethe said, “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid!”
One of the miracles that happened to me was that I began to enjoy the process…
Now up to this point the only thing I dreaded more that “goal setting” was having to go through the process.
I liked the end result and I certainly did not want to be bothered with details…
I looked at all the “stuff” that was involved in between as a nuisance…
I just wanted to enjoy the flowers…I didn’t particularly enjoy digging in the dirt to plant and tend to them.
And now, as I started on my journey to “become” a writer…a funny thing happened…
I found that I already was, in fact…a writer…
And I also found that for the first time in my life I was enjoying the entire process…All of it…
The development of the piece, the inspiration, the research, the writing and rewriting…
Because, I found, in writing, the end result and the process are the same…
Your process is your result…it is all happening simultaneously.
And I found out something else, even more astonishing and pleasantly surprising…
That while I was involved in the act of creating, everything else in my life was enhanced.
Thoughts held greater clarity, my focus was single-minded, my capacity for patience was increased…
Even my coffee tasted better!
Somehow the bills miraculously got paid, my family was respectful….
My life was working at ever increasing amounts of acceleration and perfection…
And all, seemingly, at warped speed!
Several years ago, I was watching a show on C-Span that interviews writers and it just so happened that they were talking to one of my literary heroes, Steven King.
One of the questions they asked him is what advise could he give to other writers and he said two things I would never forget.
First, he shared, “Writing is nothing but telepathy…that the ideas come from everything you see, touch, feel, and experience…and it is up to you to become aware of it, breath it, smell it and assimilate it into every part of your being.”
And then he said, probably the most important thing I would ever hear as a writer…
“Don t write for the money, or the Pulitzer or for publication or the recognition….
Write for the wastebasket!”…
At the end of this interview he made a momentous announcement to his fans and the entire literary world, that when he finished the current trilogy he was working on, he would not be writing any more books for publication.
He said he had reached a point in his life that he felt he had accomplished enough…
Had made enough money…Had had enough fame.
Had made enough money…Had had enough fame.
And now he was going to afford himself the luxury of writing for the wastebasket….
For the pure joy of writing itself…
Another of my mentors of the creative process is author/lecturer Julia Cameron.
In her book, “your Right to Write” she penned these words,
That I believe are not just referring to the craft of writing…
But to the process of creation and life itself.
“We should write because it is human nature to write.
Writing claims our world. It makes it directly and specifically our own.
We should write because humans are spiritual beings,
And writing is a powerful form of prayer and meditation,
Connecting us both to our own insights and to a higher level of inner guidance.
We should write because writing brings clarity and passion to the act of living.
Writing is sensual, experiential, grounding.
We should write because writing is good for the soul.
We should write because writing yields us a body of work,
A felt path through the world we live in.
We should write above all, because we are ALL writers.
Whether we call ourselves that or not.”
And so my friends, I would say to you…
Write because your Words are the highest expression of Your Soul.
Sing because you are the Song.
Paint because Color brings Beauty and Purpose to Our Lives.
Dance because it is your Gift to the World.
Create because it is your connection to Divinity.
Serve because it is Why you are Here.
And Love because it is Who you Are.
And above all…excel then, only to experience the perfection of your own greatness…
And in so doing you will begin to live fully and joyously in each perfect, present moment…
You will begin to realize that anything else…
“Just doesn’t matter!”
In closing I would like to quote Erich Fromm…
” Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be. Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before”
Remember…
I have given you nothing but angels…
I have given you nothing but angels…
I have given you only miracles…
Embrace the journey…and require only your own excellence.
Become and Express Who You Really Are..
There is a classic line from the movie “Bruce Almighty”, where God, played by Morgan Freeman, sums it all up, beautifully…
“Parting a bowl of soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It’s a magic trick. A single mom who’s working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that’s a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, that’s a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don’t realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.”
And so I will leave you with this final charge…indeed it is all we really need to understand…
My Friends…BE THE MIRACLE!
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