There is a little known concept that for any couple (or at least it was
little known to me until just very recently:), who for personal reasons
choose not to "legally" marry or otherwise define the relationship in
traditional terms, may decide to enter into a ceremony of commitment to
one another. The Native Americans have a similar ritual called a "Join
ing Ceremony"
Commitment ceremonies can be simply a ritual to bless your relationship
in the presence of family and friends, or an intimate exchange between
you and your partner to celebrate your love.
These ceremonies
can allow you to state the reasons why you decided to make the
commitment, allow you to share what you love most of all about one
another, give you the opportunity to share your hopes and desires of
your future together and help to prepare you for the next chapter in
your lives.
Some things that make commitment ceremonies special....
~ Giving a lot of thought to writing and personalizing your commitment vows.
~ Consider the addition of a traditional cultural ritual to acknowledge
and honor your family ancestry. Adding a ritual can make your ceremony
richer and more unique.
~ Choose a venue that has special significance for you both, the place of your first kiss or meeting.
Here is a beautiful example of one such ceremony...
A very simple ceremony is outside and near water, at sunset, on or
around the time when the moon is full. Blessing or Wishing stones and
seashells are gathered at the site not just for the couple themselves
but for all that have gathered to pay witness to the exchange of
vows...They are held throughout the entire ceremony filling them with
good wishes, prayers, thoughts and intentions.
The couple then exchange their declaration of love...One to the other...
The woman (or first party) ~
"You are and have always been my best friend, with you in my life, I
will always know home. I promise to care for your dreams as though they
were my own and will give you the space and encouragement you need to
follow those dreams and passions. I will always try to love you for
what you are, not what you have been or might become. I will hold your
heart gently through all of our lives together. I will laugh with you. I
will be responsible for my life and my person. With you I will dance to
an equal music. I will feed you when you are hungry, give you rest when
you are tired, Listen when you are grumpy, tell you when I am afraid,
Hold you in your sadness and laugh with you in your joy.
I promise
to always be there for you. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect soul mate,
and will always honor you just as you are. I promise to share with you
my innermost fears, feelings and dreams, and when cloudy, wintry, sad
days come I hope I can bring some sunshine into your life just as you
have brought sunshine into mine. I promise to listen to you, to trust
you and to nurture our shared goals of self-awareness and living life
with our eyes wide open. I promise to love you both in good times and
bad with all that I have to give, and all that I feel inside, in the
only way I know, completely and forever."
The man (or second party) ~
"I stand here today to start the next journey of our life looking
forward to our endless days together. I give my all to you. My support
for your achievements, my counsel for your problems, my remedies for
your ills, my prosperity for yours, my shoulder for your tears, my ear
for your voice, my hand for companionship and my embrace for our shared
love. I promise to be there to help when you need me, and to stand
beside you, give you support and space when you don't. I will grow
along with you and be willing to change to keep our relationship alive
and exciting. I want you to know that I pledge to remember the
harmfulness of ignorance, anger and clinging attachment, to recall the
kindness of others and our connection to them. I vow to keep close to
my heart those first tender steps we took towards each other with open
arms and laughing eyes. I promise that our world together will be
fulfilling, full of the seasons, walks, talks and many moments of
perfect oneness. I promise to always be there for you. I vow to honor
you, protect you, cherish you, and to love you now and till the end of
time."
After the ceremony all follow the couple's procession
to the water, each person makes a wish or blessing for them and casts
their stone into the water. The ripples that are made represent the love
and good wishes, not only for the couple, but for all the world... as
our ripples cross and re-cross one another's, so do our love and good
wishes touch and retouch all around us and those with whom we come into
contact.
WHAT COULD BE MORE PERFECT!!!!
